I just sent this e-mail to my ME First Team...
"Good morning! Ok…I’ve been thinking of sending something to you all for the past week, but finally am getting the courage to do it! I feel like I’m kind of moving backwards and I need some help. I was doing great in my “new lifestyle”-eating healthy, working out, feeling great, had lost 26 pounds, etc. Then, I had to have surgery on April 22. The recovery took longer than I was expecting, and I wasn’t able to work out for a month. In the time since, I’ve fallen back into some unhealthy eating habits and am finding myself making excuses not to work out. I have gained back 6 lbs and am feeling discouraged. I know what I need to do to get back to feeling great, but for some reason am not making the choice to just do it! I skipped WW last night because I couldn’t stand the thought of a gain and this morning I “forgot” my gym bag-I think I may have “forgotten” it on purpose J (sorry Aaron!).
I am not feeling great and know I’m on a downward spiral…eat horribly, skip workouts, feel like crap and that the only way I will feel better is to eat healthy, and workout consistently, but for some reason I am sabotaging myself!
One positive step I took this morning (thanks to a friend who I was venting to) was to start tracking food-at least that way I can see it on paper. I am also looking back at my blog to motivate myself. I guess I’m just asking for someone to “push” me a bit-remind me of all of the positive changes I had made.
If you’ve made it to the end of this you are amazing (writing it out definitely helps) Thank you all!"
Aaron (my trainer) replied first:
Nicole,
I think you said it best as far as writing it out etc. I would have told you to do all of the things that you are doing.
#1 Start tracking food.
#2 Read over log to appreciate all that you have accomplished and get remotivated.
#3 Commit to your workouts.
It is normal to have ups and downs especially after accomplishing what seems like a goal or an end. Even more so after an injury or in your case surgery. You have to remember that it really never ends and find a way to remotivate which I think you have done from reading your e mail.
Lastly I would try to enjoy the process because in the end it is all that really matters.
Your friend,
Aaron
Then, I replied:
Thank you SO much Aaron. This certainly helps. I guess what’s really bothering me is when I sit and think about it, I know what I need and want to do, but for some reason am sabotaging myself? I think you hit the nail on the head when you said It is normal to have ups and downs especially after accomplishing what seems like a goal or an end. I had my eyes on the 5K for so long, that it’s almost like in my head I did it so I’m “done” even though I have so much more I want to do. Today I realized that I have such a huge support system but if nobody knows that I need help then they cannot help me. I’m glad I sent this.
I am recommitting myself effective TODAY! Thank you again, Aaron…
Hope (my wellness coach) also replied:
Hi Nicole - I am glad you wrote to us and are eliciting help from your support/resources.
Two things -- I hear your frustration with where you are at, and completely understand how normal that is.
I also hear you being mindful. You are identifying that you know you are making excuses, that you "forgot" your gym bag and you are not making good choices for yourself and need help and that's great.
And a question keeps coming up for me....I wonder if this is a relapse? and if it is, what stage of change have you relapsed to? Are you in precontemplation where you are in denial of needing to change, is it contemplation where you recognize the need for change, or are you in preparation, getting ready to get back into action?
Hope
Here is my response:
Thanks Hope! I think I definitely relapsed…probably to contemplation (I knew that I needed to move forward, but for some reason couldn’t step up to the plate!). BUT…since I wrote it all down, reviewed my blog, and got a fabulous response from Aaron, I am back to preparation! Writing it all down definitely helped me set the wheels in motion. I went to Hannaford and got ingredients to make a healthy salad for lunch (instead of getting pizza at the café like I had been doing) and even picked up a new fruit to try (I was doing this before, but had stopped). Passionfruit ROCKS! And I will not “forget” my gym bag tomorrow so I can keep my workout appt with Aaron.
I will be in touch to keep you posted
And my cousin, Stacy replied:
Good morning Nic! Oh, it does sound like you’re having a hard morning!! But ya know what, you’ve been honest with yourself and that’s the first step!!! And not an easy one I might add!! I know you can do this!! You can do anything you set your mind to, I’ve seen you do it!! Look at all you’ve done so far. Don’t focus on the last few weeks, focus on right now. You made the first “right” choice, you’re going to track starting right now. I think it’s really important, little things add up quickly and if you write it you’re accountable for it. Today’s new day and a new start!! You’ve caught the spiral quickly, you know your body is still conditioned so when you get back in the gym you’ll be able to pick up right where you left off. I know it’s not easy, but you CAN push yourself over this hump!! I know you can!!
I don’t know if any of this helps at all, but I am here for you and I am in your corner!! I love you!!!
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