Embarrassed...but ready to move forward!

The last time I went to Weight Watchers was September 7, 2010. That was in the midst of my "lymphoma scare". I hibernated, ate a lot of carbs, sugar, and fried food. I "checked out" of life to maintain my sanity in a very trying time. I had all I could do to get through the day, let alone plan & eat healthy meals and work out. So, this week I went back to facilitation and went back to Weight Watchers. Wednesday was facilitation and I can't even begin to tell you how good it felt to be back! It was so nice seeing everyone, talking about our struggles & successes and to have everyone cheer when I told them about my scare. I felt like I was back where I needed to be. And that day, I made a commitment to myself that I would get back to my healthiness journey. Step number one was going to Weight Watchers. A lot has changed since I had been-they are now doing a "Points Plus" system, which from what I have read so far is MUCH better than the old program! This programs encourages healthy nutrition...not just filling yourself with processed foods. I got all of the handouts and the leader gave me an overview of the new program. Then, it was time to face the scale. Now, I know that it's just a number and that I went through a tough time, etc., but it was hard. And I found out that I am 2 pounds less than where I started. That did not sit well. Of course, I knew it wouldn't be good, but it made me very angry with myself. I knew that all of my clothes feel tight and that I'm not feeling like "myself". How could I do this? I worry about what the future will bring...what if I face another crisis? How will I handle it.  

BUT...I have decided that it really doesn't matter. The only thing I have is right now-wasting time looking back and looking forward will do no good. I can make choices and move forward. And I will. Today is the first day of the next phase of my journey.


UPDATE: I just saw this and thought it could not have come at a better time!