I mean, it wasn't so bad during the month of December. I had my birthday, my daughters' birthdays, Christmas, New Year's Eve to look forward to. January started out ok-we actually didn't have any snow until a couple of weeks ago. Then, it started. The snow, the ice, the darkness, the "I can't wear pretty shoes outside without ruining them", the "oh, time to fill the pellet stove again", the "oh-let's make sure the walkway isn't a death trap from all of the ice", the "is the path shoveled around the mailbox?". UGH. It's downright depressing. It's all a bit overwhelming. Get up, get ready for work, get the girls up, get the girls ready for daycare, throw my lunch in a bag, pour coffee, bundle us all up, get into the car and drive (in the dark) to drop off and head to work. I know that if I went to the gym before work I would feel so much better (those endorphins?!) but for some reason I just lay in bed and think "NO WAY". I start thinking about all of the things I have to do and it becomes too much, so I just put off the inevitable (which I'm going to have to do anyway). SO, it looks like I'm punishing myself. By not going to the gym in the morning, I am punishing myself. If I went to the gym, I know from experience that I would feel better which would in turn help me to eat better and give me more energy. What the heck?! Anyway, enough rambling...so my wellness coach, Nancy, had emailed me on Thursday to check in to see how I was doing. Last week was hellacious (is that a word?!). Downright hellacious. One thing after another...the girls were having a rough week, I was having a rough week, and then it hit me. I scanned an article in our weekly newspaper that said the words I had been dreading: TIME TO REGISTER FOR KINDERGARTEN. What?! I'm not ready for this. They can't be 5 years old already...where did the time go? I'm not ready. So, I think that is what set me off. I'm also going to add in the old PMS excuse because I just feel "off"...like hormonal off, and it is getting to that time. I cried over everything last week-the smallest thing would set me off. I am usually a pretty positive person, but lately I am not feeling it. I feel grumpy and I don't like it. So, I got over the kindergarten registration thing (although I still had not registered them because I was afraid I would end up crying over the phone to the pour soul who answered!). Then, the next thing happened-I took Friday off to have flooring installed in our living room (LONG STORY-this has been going on since November). They didn't show up, but they called to tell me they weren't coming. Well, let's just say that between my "blahs" and the fact that I drank way too much coffee so was super jittery, that call did not end well and I was FUMING mad. It takes a lot to really tick me off, but apparently they got lucky. The flooring was installed on Saturday-it took a lot of, ahem, patience on my part. All is well. So, after all of that rambling, here is my reply to Nancy:
"Hi Nancy! Thanks for checking in on me. The stressor of last week was that I saw an ad in the paper that it is time to register my daughters for school. I knew it was coming, but seeing it there sent me right into a tailspin for some reason. I cannot believe they are already 5. Anyway, I am fine now-I actually called this morning and registered them (without crying!) J (I’ll most likely have a moment when we have the actual screening though, but I’m choosing to take it one step at a time!).
I was off Friday, so am finally getting around to replying to you. Last week was definitely an “off” week…I’ve been in a “funk” for the past 3 weeks. I could list off several “excuses”-sick of cold weather, snow, ice, not wanting to get up in the morning (even though I’m getting plenty of sleep), kids not wanting to get up in the morning, my eye is still infected, PMS, blah, blah, blah. But, I know deep down that to feel better I need to get moving and eat well. I am just having a hard time taking that first step. So, yesterday I decided to put an end to the blahs and “fake it till I make it”. I planned my menu for the week, grocery shopped, prepped food (made breakfasts, snacks and cooked 2 meals), gave myself a mani/pedi (pampering myself usually helps!), packed my gym bag, went to bed early. Then, my alarm went off this morning and I said “screw this” and slept instead. So, I faked it but didn’t quite make it. What I did do, though, was to actually take some positive steps toward my goal of being prepared to eat healthy & get to the gym (because that is what makes me feel good). I didn’t actually make it to the gym, but I did make it one step further than I have in the past 3 weeks. So, I’ll count that as a positive and I will prepare tonight and plan on actually getting to the gym in the morning."
Nancy's reply:
"Good to hear you getting back on the menu plan - as that has worked so well for you (and I love reading it! Taco's with avocado - mmmm). Plus you did it around some pampering which is such a great strategy.
So - you want to sleep when it's pitch dark out, huh?
Nicole, I hear you saying that you feel better when you get to the gym and I wonder if that crosses your mind in the morning? "Screw it" came to your mind……screw working hard? Getting up? Getting the girls up? Is it worth considering a different strategy for a few weeks?
Perhaps something to discuss when we meet on Wed? Or if you'd rather meet today (before 12:30), I could do that…."
My reply:
"Thanks Nancy! Yes, I want to sleep in when it’s dark. I also want to get home while it’s still bright outside. January (and February and March-LOL) are so hard.
This morning, the alarm went off. I was cozy & warm in bed. It’s pitch dark-I actually did think how much better I would feel to get some endorphins flowing! Thinking about it now, it seems like I’m just putting off the inevitable (getting up, getting the girls up, getting ready, getting the girls ready and getting out the door-I guess it’s just a bit overwhelming while I’m lying there in bed). Once I’m up I’m fine. It’s just getting up. It’s definitely a mind game. I would definitely like to talk about a different strategy on Wednesday! (I can’t meet before 12:30 today). It may be a long session if that’s ok J
Thanks again Nancy! You always know what to say :)"
So, I felt better after getting it out there. I had my healthy breakfast and was ready to eat my healthy lunch...
until...
I discovered they had the comfort foods to beat all comfort foods in the cafe today-mac & cheese & pigs in a blanket. Seriously...
Can it be May already?!
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