Deep Thoughts...(this is a long one!)

Last week, something funny happened. Another lightbulb moment, if you will. I initially wrote this email to my Facilitator, Jeri, and my Wellness Coach, Nancy:

"Deep Thoughts from the mind of Nicole:

Last night, I weighed in at WW and realized that I have lost 10 % of my body weight. YAY! Then, I got kind of "confused" though, because it feels strange to me. I don't feel like I am "trying" or really doing anything. I do know, however, that I have obviously made changes that have resulted in weight loss. I feel like my mind has shifted, if that makes sense. I feel like my body craves so differently now. This is the first time in my life that I have lost weight without feeling like I'm "trying" or not felt like I was depriving myself. I feel like I'm really listening to my body. (and of course, that makes me feel like it's too good to be true). 

Next thought: So, this morning, I was talking to Freda (coworker & friend) about how I had lost the 10 % and she said something to the effect of "almost time for phase 2". I immediately-without thought-blurted out "Um, NO-I don't think so!". After I said it, I thought about why I said it. My immediate thought was that there is no way I'm moving onto phase 2 because then I will go backwards. Now, had you asked me a year ago and I would have jumped at the chance of moving to Phase 2-that was my goal-I couldn't wait and just wanted to get there already. Realistically, that is where I am heading-I mean, that was the goal from the beginning, but now it's like I'm scared that if I get to phase 2 I will go backwards. Typing it out is really odd...even typing this makes my mind immediately jump to "now that you've typed it, you will go backwards". (sounds like I'm definitely feeling SCARED-of going backwards)." 

After sending the email, I met with my Nurse Coach, my Wellness Coach, and my Fitness Coach. They were very good meetings. This is my fourth year with ME First. ME First (read about it HERE) is a five year employee-based wellness program. You start the program in phase 1 and move onto phase 2 once you've made several changes in regards to weight, activity, diet, and wellness. After you have maintained your weight loss, you move onto phase 3. This program is a life-changing program. It's not a "let's lose the weight and get out of here" program. There is no magic key. This program is designed to change the way you think, act, and figure out how you became overweight. Changing the brain-definitely not an easy feat. If you open yourself and learn to be vulnerable, you will succeed in changing your life for the better. If you are not open to vulnerability, it's going to be a struggle. From the beginning, I've heard that once you find something that works for your body, losing the weight will be an added benefit to an overall healthy well-being. I really didn't believe it...I mean, seriously, I'm in this program to lose weight so that was my main goal. But, something happened this year for me. In my mind, I owe it all to the day I hit rock bottom with my never-ending eye saga-the day I was told my surgery would not happen for TWO MONTHS. I felt completely out of control, sad, frustrated, angry-you name it, I felt it. But, that was also the day that I decided that I was going to do what I COULD DO TO GET MYSELF AS HEALTHY AS POSSIBLE. Finally-something I could control -I could control what I put into my mouth, I could pay attention to my feelings, I could exercise, I could simply be. Something in me changed that day. I became "open" that day...open to listening to my thoughts, my inner critic, my body, and just being in the moment rather than reacting negatively against my body with food. 

At facilitation, we talked about gluten and I decided to research a bit. I read the book "Wheat Belly" and was really interested in seeing how gluten affects my body. I mean, I craved pasta & bread all the time, so what would happen if I went off it for a while? I decided to give it two weeks. After THREE days, I immediately felt so much better. I didn't have the bloat, swelling, puffiness that I normally had. I lost all cravings for pasta and bread (they were previously staples for me!). I had SO much more energy. The difference I felt was truly amazing. People noticed-I got a lot of "where is all this energy coming from", "what are you on", etc. comments. :) My husband saw such a difference that he immediately jumped on the bandwagon. My body obviously has some sort of an intolerance to gluten, so why would I want to go back? Then, the weight started dropping. When I hit the 10%, I kept asking myself why I was losing weight. I honestly don't feel like I'm doing anything. People are noticing and asking me what I'm doing...I don't have an answer. I honestly think it's different for everyone and you really have to find what works for you. Obviously, I am making better choices at listening to my body and planning, but it just seems "easy". I still go out to dinner, I still drink wine, I still "indulge" if there is something I really want. I just make better choices. I don't crave things I craved before. I crave salads, vegetables, fruits. Food just doesn't seem to "do it" for me anymore. I don't feel the urge to eat something just because it's there. I know that if there comes a time when I want a certain food, I can always get it, but that doesn't mean I have to finish it because it's there right now. I have also learned that working out in the morning makes me happy (can't even believe I'm saying that). Starting my day with a workout starts my day on a positive note. 

As for the "easy" part of the weight loss, my trainer, Tony said it best "your body is using what it needs and getting rid of the rest-it's working the way it's supposed to because of the fuel it's getting". How awesome is that?! And you know what? Jeri was right all along-when she said that once you find what works for your body, the weight loss will be an added benefit. It's true! It may have taken me four years to figure it out, but I am so happy to be on this journey. 

I've also been doing some self-esteem work. We have been discussing this in facilitation and it has totally captivated me. I immediately got this book on Audible:

and picked up this one to journal in:

These books are AMAZING. Basically, what I've taken from them so far is that perception is everything. We build things up in our heads that are not necessarily true. The companion book is really cool because it guides you through some simple exercises to "take stock" of the positive things you bring to life. We all have an inner critic that can sometimes help and sometimes hurt us. We also react to things based on what we take in, which is not always accurate. 

I also got this book after watching some of her work at facilitation:

Byron Katie is fascinating. You can check out her WORK here. 

We're now working on emotions in facilitation. Interesting stuff! 

I'm in a really good place right now and looking forward to what life has in store for me. :)

The Power of Vulnerability

Yesterday in facilitation, we watched a video. It's about 20 minutes and very moving. It's about the "power of vulnerability". Our assignment is to find ways to be vulnerable over the next couple of weeks. The part that  spoke to me was about how we, as humans, try to numb ourselves. It could be with food, alcohol, drugs, or anything you do to try to avoid feeling certain emotions. The problem with that is that we cannot choose which emotions we numb, so we numb them all including joy and happiness. Good stuff!

I'm linking it here so I can watch it again...

YOU CAN WATCH IT BY CLICKING HERE. 

What a Great Day!

So...this morning was, um, interesting? I woke up and got ready for the gym, got the girls ready, and poured my coffee. Maya opened the garage door and said "Mama-Gigi's lights are blinking". "Gigi" is our car. Oh no. Sure enough- the hazard lights were on. So, I tried starting it and nothing. Into the house we went and I called AAA aka my lifesaver :) They told me someone would be there within 45 minutes. I changed into my work clothes since going to the gym was out of the question at that point and gave the girls some cereal and milk. Then, we waited for about half an hour and AAA arrived. They got the car going and we were on our way. On the drive to daycare, I got thinking. Had this scenario played out a couple of weeks ago, I would have gone into panic mode. I would have been angry and my day would have been ruined. Today, for some reason, I felt at peace...I felt calm. It definitely did not ruin my day at all. It was simply a minor blip in the morning. Did I get to the gym at my usual time? No, but it did not matter. Life happened, I dealt with it and moved on. It seems minor, but felt (and still feels) big to me. For the rest of the morning, I kept thinking about how calm I felt.

I did bring my gym bag and planned on going to work out at lunchtime, but didn't end up getting there. Guess what? It's ok-I have my bag packed and will go in the morning. Life happens...it happened and it still goes on. No sense in beating myself up over it. Tomorrow is a new day and full of possibilities.

After work, I picked up the girls and we headed to the dance studio to register them for dance camp next month. Then, it was time to go to Weight Watchers. I was a bit nervous about it because I had a big lunch. (NOTE: definite pattern here. When I work out, my eating is so much healthier. One day away from the gym and I ordered out at work!). I have been tracking my food and working out consistently for the past week, but still was "nervous" about that scale. I lost 1.4 lbs! This just reiterated how I'm doing-feeling great and the scale is heading in the right direction. I'll take it!

It was a great day!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Back in the Gym!

I made it back to the gym today and I FEEL GREAT! I got into a rut again...I feel fat, sluggish, bloated, lazy, no energy at all, and just plain awful. My clothes are feeling tight and I'm not enjoying getting ready like I normally do. I feel like every time I have a "roadblock" (health issue) I revert back to old habits. So, after not going to the gym and loading myself with  carbs & sugar for several weeks now, I met with my wellness coach yesterday afternoon. I told her I needed an intervention. I know what to do to feel better-work out and eat nutritiously. But, it's like I'm fighting myself. It sounds so ridiculous when I say it out loud. It's like I have 2 choices-the first one would be to work out and eat well, the second one is to not work out and eat crappy. To feel well, the first choice is the obvious one for me, but for some reason I keep going with the second one. I was able to really let it all out and get to the root of the problem. Once again, it's the whole "all or nothing" thinking and lack of patience. So, we talked about what the first step would be for me to feel better. For me, going to the gym is the first step. When I work out, it puts me in a good mood and I tend to eat way better. So, what do I need to do? I need to GO TO THE GYM! We also talked about starting with just one thing instead of overwhelming myself with everything at once. We came up with a slogan for me to say when I get in the "why bother" mindframe. Why bother? Because I WANT TO FEEL BETTER AND I CAN CONTROL THAT!

Last night, I packed my gym bag. This morning, I woke up and decided that I wanted to go to the gym. I got there and the minute I got on the elliptical, I smiled. This was exactly what I needed! I did 25 minutes and yeah, my heart rate was definitely high, but I did it and I feel FABULOUS! And do you know what? I will be there tomorrow morning as well!

And the whole "eating nutritiously" thing? I made a green smoothie (lowfat milk, spinach, 1/2 banana, 1 tsp. natural peanut butter, 1 scoop Tera's Whey Protein Powder, handful of berries) this morning! I know from experience that after a workout I like to have a "clean" breakfast so I made it so it would be available if I wanted it. Yep-I drank it and it was great.

Today is my appointment with the eye surgeon. Let's get this eye problem fixed!

I'm BACK...

to being ME finally! It's been a fantastic week so far! I feel good and have been eating well, working out, and tracking my food! I'm not counting WW points as realistically, it's not for me-I just can't see doing that for life. I do, however, like to track at times just to see how I'm doing nutritionally. So far, so good! I definitely find that when I track everything I eat, I think more about if I really want something or not. It's all good!

Yesterday morning I went to the gym and did the elliptical for 30 minutes at a moderate pace. Then, I had an appointment to work out with my trainer. I started out on the treadmill and then we did some strength training. My shoulders & arms felt SO good last night! This morning, I did 30 minutes on the elliptical and I'm feeling great!

On the nutrition front, I am doing well. I am sticking to my meal plan and am preparing my food for the day. I made "egg muffins" again this week. Super simple-1/4 cup eggbeaters in each slot of a muffin tin, then add whatever veggies you like (I sauteed a pan of spinach, broccoli, onion, red & yellow pepper, and  mushrooms)-then sprinkle feta cheese on top and bake until set). I have 2 of them for breakfast-it's a great way to get some veggies & protein in to start the day. I baked salmon, cod, and chicken breasts for the week (LOVE that I have protein all ready to grab for meals), so I've been having one or the other along with either the quinoa & edamame supermix that I made. Delicious! Last night, I had a few hours to myself, so a friend & I went out to dinner. I normally would have had a margarita, but thought about it and decided I didn't really want to drink all of those calories since I've been feeling so great! :)

THIS is how I like to feel...working out, proper nutrition=happy ME!

Oh, so that's why!

Yesterday morning I wasn't feeling well, so I decided to call my doctor to schedule an appointment. Well, turns out there may be a reason for some of my "January Slumps". I had a fever and have a sinus infection. I told her about my recurrent eye infections and she also thinks there may be a link there. I was sick a couple of weeks back and have not been really feeling well since then. I'm glad I decided to go to the doctor! She gave me some antibiotics and Flonase and said I should be feeling better soon. I really hope it helps with my eye as well. I'm so ready to wear my contacts again! So, last night I took my antibiotics, Flonase, and some Nyquil and I slept like a log! I can feel my sinuses draining this morning (YAY!), so something must be working!

Oh, and to cheer myself up this morning, I am wearing open toed shoes! My poor toes were sick and tired of being hidden away and wanted to come out to play! Take that, WINTER! (of course, I did wear winter boots for the commute, but hey-I'll take what I can get!)

The January Slumps...rambling

January...how I loathe thee.



I mean, it wasn't so bad during the month of December. I had my birthday, my daughters' birthdays, Christmas, New Year's Eve to look forward to. January started out ok-we actually didn't have any snow until a couple of weeks ago. Then, it started. The snow, the ice, the darkness, the "I can't wear pretty shoes outside without ruining them", the "oh, time to fill the pellet stove again", the "oh-let's make sure the walkway isn't a death trap from all of the ice", the "is the path shoveled around the mailbox?". UGH. It's downright depressing. It's all a bit overwhelming. Get up, get ready for work, get the girls up, get the girls ready for daycare, throw my lunch in a bag, pour coffee, bundle us all up, get into the car and drive (in the dark) to drop off and head to work. I know that if I went to the gym before work I would feel so much better (those endorphins?!) but for some reason I just lay in bed and think "NO WAY". I start thinking about all of the things I have to do and it becomes too much, so I just put off the inevitable (which I'm going to have to do anyway). SO, it looks like I'm punishing myself. By not going to the gym in the morning, I am punishing myself. If I went to the gym, I know from experience that I would feel better which would in turn help me to eat better and give me more energy. What the heck?! Anyway, enough rambling...so my wellness coach, Nancy, had emailed me on Thursday to check in to see how I was doing. Last week was hellacious (is that a word?!). Downright hellacious. One thing after another...the girls were having a rough week, I was having a rough week, and then it hit me. I scanned an article in our weekly newspaper that said the words I had been dreading: TIME TO REGISTER FOR KINDERGARTEN. What?! I'm not ready for this. They can't be 5 years old already...where did the time go? I'm not ready. So, I think that is what set me off. I'm also going to add in the old PMS excuse because I just feel "off"...like hormonal off, and it is getting to that time. I cried over everything last week-the smallest thing would set me off. I am usually a pretty positive person, but lately I am not feeling it. I feel grumpy and I don't like it. So, I got over the kindergarten registration thing (although I still had not registered them because I was afraid I would end up crying over the phone to the pour soul who answered!). Then, the next thing happened-I took Friday off to have flooring installed in our living room (LONG STORY-this has been going on since November). They didn't show up, but they called to tell me they weren't coming. Well, let's just say that between my "blahs" and the fact that I drank way too much coffee so was super jittery, that call did not end well and I was FUMING mad. It takes a lot to really tick me off, but apparently they got lucky. The flooring was installed on Saturday-it took a lot of, ahem, patience on my part. All is well. So, after all of that rambling, here is my reply to Nancy:


"Hi Nancy! Thanks for checking in on me. The stressor of last week was that I saw an ad in the paper that it is time to register my daughters for school. I knew it was coming, but seeing it there sent me right into a tailspin for some reason. I cannot believe they are already 5. Anyway, I am fine now-I actually called this morning and registered them (without crying!) J (I’ll most likely have a moment when we have the actual screening though, but I’m choosing to take it one step at a time!).

I was off Friday, so am finally getting around to replying to you. Last week was definitely an “off” week…I’ve been in a “funk” for the past 3 weeks. I could list off several “excuses”-sick of cold weather, snow, ice, not wanting to get up in the morning (even though I’m getting plenty of sleep), kids not wanting to get up in the morning, my eye is still infected, PMS, blah, blah, blah. But, I know deep down that to feel better I need to get moving and eat well. I am just having a hard time taking that first step. So, yesterday I decided to put an end to the blahs and “fake it till I make it”. I planned my menu for the week, grocery shopped, prepped food (made breakfasts, snacks and cooked 2 meals), gave myself a mani/pedi (pampering myself usually helps!), packed my gym bag, went to bed early. Then, my alarm went off this morning and I said “screw this” and slept instead. So, I faked it but didn’t quite make it. What I did do, though, was to actually take some positive steps toward my goal of being prepared to eat healthy & get to the gym (because that is what makes me feel good). I didn’t actually make it to the gym, but I did make it one step further than I have in the past 3 weeks. So, I’ll count that as a positive and I will prepare tonight and plan on actually getting to the gym in the morning."

Nancy's reply:


"Good to hear you getting back on the menu plan - as that has worked so well for you (and I love reading it! Taco's with avocado - mmmm).  Plus you did it around some pampering which is such a great strategy.

So - you want to sleep when it's pitch dark out, huh?

Nicole, I hear you saying that you feel better when you get to the gym and I wonder if that crosses your mind in the morning?  "Screw it" came to your mind……screw working hard? Getting up? Getting the girls up?  Is it worth considering a different strategy for a few weeks?

Perhaps something to discuss when we meet on Wed?  Or if you'd rather meet today (before 12:30), I could do that…."

My reply:


"Thanks Nancy! Yes, I want to sleep in when it’s dark. I also want to get home while it’s still bright outside. January (and February and March-LOL) are so hard.

This morning, the alarm went off. I was cozy & warm in bed. It’s pitch dark-I actually did think how much better I would feel to get some endorphins flowing! Thinking about it now, it seems like I’m just putting off the inevitable (getting up, getting the girls up, getting ready, getting the girls ready and getting out the door-I guess it’s just a bit overwhelming while I’m lying there in bed). Once I’m up I’m fine. It’s just getting up. It’s definitely a mind game. I would definitely like to talk about a different strategy on Wednesday! (I can’t meet before 12:30 today). It may be a long session if that’s ok J

Thanks again Nancy! You always know what to say :)"

So, I felt better after getting it out there. I had my healthy breakfast and was ready to eat my healthy lunch...

until...

I discovered they had the comfort foods to beat all comfort foods in the cafe today-mac & cheese & pigs in a blanket. Seriously...

Can it be May already?!

Byron Katie

Have you heard of Byron Katie? At our last facilitation group, Jeri mentioned her name and said we should check out some of her work. I watched a couple of YouTube videos of hers and was immediately drawn in. What really stood out to me is when she says "when you feel something, ask yourself if it's the absolute truth". I can't wait to read more about her!

Goals for 2012

Beware: this is going to be long!
At my last ME 4 Life facilitation group, Jeri asked the following questions:

1. What is my goal for December 2012?
2. What do I want for myself in regards to facilitation? What actions do I plan to take to get there?
3. How do I assume responsibility?
4. What have we done that I'd like to revisit?



1. What is my goal for December 2012?
I feel like the past year-the past 5 months to be exact-have been extremely enlightening. It all started with my POST ON JULY 29 THAT YOU CAN READ HERE followed by THE BLOG POST ON AUGUST 3 THAT YOU CAN READ HERE. Those 2 days changed my life (thank you Jameson & Tony!). True, lightbulb moments there! Since then, I have felt that my healthiness, just as any other aspect of my life, is in my hands. It's all in the choices that I make. I have learned SO much about myself, what makes me tick, what I want from life. I have learned that "being healthy" is a journey and most certainly not a destination. This is my life. I love blogging because it allows me to go back and read posts that have come from deep within...posts that inspire me such as THIS ONE and THIS ONE and definitely THIS ONE. Now, when it comes to specific "goals", I like THIS POST, because it is how I'm feeling about goals as well as motivation. Here is an excerpt: "At this point, my goal is simply to just continue listening to my body, having fun, feeling good-"keep on keepin' on", if you will. I feel like I'm in a great place and I can honestly say that I look forward to every day. I have a "big" birthday coming up next week and I can honestly say that I feel the healthiest overall that I have ever felt....and I plan on continuing that trend ". I did have my "big birthday"-it was fabulous (read about it HERE) and my goal for 2012 is to continue listening to my body, having fun, and feeling good. This will be achieved by me making the choices that align with my goal of living a healthy lifestyle-eating the proper foods to fuel my body and moving more (and to always be reviewing my progress and check in to see if any "tweaks" are needed). The key to all of this is simply listening to that inner voice. It sounds simple and quite honestly, is simple. Does it take work? Yes! But, I can do it and will continue doing it. I will, of course, have smaller goals along the way, but this is the BIG one :)

2. What do I want for myself in regards to facilitation? What actions do I plan to take to get there?
Hmmm...I absolutely LOVE the new group I'm in. I look forward to facilitation-I just love being with these women. I love that we have been telling our life stories-getting to know each other. I remember giving my life story (HERE) and how I felt like it was "not bad enough". By each of us telling our stories, we're bonding and we're seeing things that we could not see through our own stories. We're all so different,  yet we're all so similar. Very interesting! So, what do I want from facilitation? I want to be open, honest, and just continue to learn more about myself. I must say I'm very excited to start the "body image" portion!

3. How do I assume responsibility?
I assume responsibility by making choices and standing by them. Resiliency vs. playing the victim.

4. What have we done that I'd like to revisit?
One thing that I really loved that we did (in the previous group) was when we each passed around a sheet of paper with our name on it and members of the group each wrote something positive about each other. I still have mine hanging in my office and love to look at it. Sometimes, we tend to forget our own strengths and it's nice to be reminded (and yes, I do love compliments!).

Deep Thoughts...

I've been reflecting a lot in the past week. The reflection was prompted by an email I received from my ME 4 Life facilitator. She sent an email saying that some people had been in contact with her regarding "wavering of motivation". She asked that we be prepared at our next group (yesterday) to talk about our motivation & benefits of becoming healthier as an exploration on working through a lack of motivation. So, I thought about it. I kept coming back to the same thoughts: I'm not lacking motivation, but on the other hand I'm not feeling all "super-motivated" if that makes sense. I am simply being me. It's very hard to put into words, but I'll try my best. When I first came into the program, I thought that I would be given answers and suddenly would hold the key to weight loss & healthiness.I also thought that once I reached my goal weight, life would be "back to normal".  Of course, now I know that there is no "key"-it's all within me. I have also discovered that healthiness is not a destination-it's a journey. And why would I want to go "back to normal" which was the total opposite of where I want my life to be?!  I have discovered that not only is "the key" within me, it is different for everyone. What "motivates" me is simply the way I feel. When I work out and eat well, I feel great: lots of energy, happy, and to put simply: the world feels like a better place. When I don't work out and don't eat well, I don't feel as great and I don't have as much energy. Sounds simple, right? It is truly a matter of making choices-choices that will lead me to (LIGHTBULB MOMENT HERE!)...my goal of living a HEALTHY LIFE! One good choice followed by several not so good choices will not put me where I want to be, just as one not so good choice followed by several good choices will not send me back where I started. It is truly about listening to my body-being aware, mindful, consistent, and making choices that will make me feel good. Now, don't get me wrong. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to wake up tomorrow and have 35 lbs be gone, but realistically, I know that isn't going to happen. And it honestly doesn't even matter because I feel great now. And the lessons that I am learning through this journey are priceless.

I met with my nurse this week to go over the labs that I had done last month. My labs & vitals (fasting glucose, cholesterol, HDL, LDL, ratio, heart rate, and blood pressure were all well within normal limits! YAY! We had a nice conversation about where I'm at, how I'm feeling, etc.

Yesterday, I had facilitation which I always look forward to. This new group has changed my life-the room is full of such positive energy and our bond is getting stronger every time we meet.

This morning, I met with my trainer. We talked about where I'm at fitness-wise and we also had a great conversation about listening to my body and being mindful.

At this point, my goal is simply to just continue listening to my body, having fun, feeling good-"keep on keepin' on", if you will. I feel like I'm in a great place and I can honestly say that I look forward to every day. I have a "big" birthday coming up next week and I can honestly say that I feel the healthiest overall that I have ever felt....and I plan on continuing that trend :)

FRIDAY!

It was nice having a short work week! Monday was Columbus Day, so I had the day off and then decided to take Tuesday off as well so we could have some family time. I already reviewed the weekend, so we'll skip ahead to Wednesday!

Wednesday: 
I started the day off with a trip to the gym to get a workout in. I did 30 minutes on the elliptical. It was great! Then, I worked and met with my wellness coach, Nancy, in the afternoon. We had a nice chat about goals & my thoughts. I told her that I wasn't really sure about what goal to set at the moment because I feel like I'm in a really great place and I'm working towards my bigger goals. We discussed how "maintaining" the work that I've been doing is a goal in itself. I feel like I'll know when it's time to add a new goal, but right now I'm very happy with the progress I'm working on. I also asked her about something I've been pondering since the last facilitation we had. We're working on life stories right now and it can get pretty heavy. It boggles my mind that so many people have been through such horrible trauma in their lives. Although I've definitely had my share of struggles as an adult, I had a great childhood. It got me thinking because I have definitely struggled in life, but at a time when I was old enough to take care of myself-not at a time when I was dependent on someone else to take care of me. I started to wonder if I tend to minimize my own struggles-do I see them as not as important as other people's? After much discussion, it came down to me judging myself. It's not that I think people will look down on me, it's that I look down on myself-as if my problems aren't "as important" as what other people have been through. When I said it out loud, I realized. Then, to top it off, Nancy told me that from what she was hearing from me, she thinks it is not that I'm minimizing my own struggles, but that I'm a sensitive & caring person. My response? ROLLING MY EYES. And she "caught" me-I was judging myself again-what me? caring & sensitive?! ! Immediately, we both laughed at each other! I LOVE this new group because I am learning so much about myself! Wednesday evening, I picked up the girls and we went home to a meal of crockpot chicken salsa waiting for us-easy & done! Love that!

Thursday:
I started the morning off with a workout with Tony, who was super chatty & motivating which is always nice. (Yes, I do love to talk)   :)
I went to work where I had a CRAZY day-it was nuts. One thing after another. I had planned on going to cycling class, but 20 minutes before all hell broke loose at work. I did change into my workout clothes, but unfortunately was not able to walk away. That dampened my mood for sure as I love cycling class :( and since I had missed out on Tuesday I really wanted to go. But, what can you do? Keep moving ahead! Thursday evening I picked up the girls and went home. I made salmon, whole wheat couscous and broccoli & mushroom stirfry for dinner. Then, I packed my bag and got ready for the next day.

FRIDAY!: 
I went to the gym this morning and did 30 minutes on the elliptical. Work all day, then the girls have dance class tonight. Then, who knows?! It's a rainy day, so perhaps a movie on the couch tonight?!

Weekend Plans:
Tomorrow morning the girls & I are doing the Walk for Hope. Then, I will do some cleaning, meal plan for next week, and grocery shop. That's about it so far. We'll see what the weekend brings!

Have a great weekend!

ME 4 Life Meeting with Nancy!

I had facilitation last week, so this week was my meeting with my wellness coach, Nancy. We took a walk and talked about my goals. We talked about the difference for me between now and when I first started ME First. As much as it hurts to say, I am actually glad that I gained the weight back (gulp!) and started the process again. When I first started, I put myself on a pretty tight routine-it was the "means to the end" to lose the weight. Looking back, at the time I felt like if I lost the weight I would be "done". Well, after my health scare, "quitting exercise", and gaining the weight back, it gave me time to think about my "journey to wellness". When I started on my journey again, I started putting things together. Now, when I work out, I LOVE how I feel after. It gives me energy, improves my mood, makes me feel stronger, and gives me such a feeling of accomplishment. On the nutrition front, I am now able to relate how my body (and mood) feels after I eat. When I make good, nutritional choices (HELLO FUEL for my body!), I feel energetic, light, good attitude, etc. When I make "not so good" choices I can totally feel the difference-I feel lethargic, bloated, puffy, tired, etc.This is my LIFE-FOREVER-it truly is a journey, not a destination. Good stuff! :)

At facilitation last week, I had set the goal of trying the cycling class.



Done! I met my first goal-YAY! So, then we talked about what my next goal would be. I wanted to focus it on nutrition this time. We talked about how meal planning is SO important. When I plan & prepare, I am totally on! When I don't plan & prepare, I fall into the temptation traps. Go to the cafe-ooh-pizza, chips, whatever they have that day. So, my goal is to plan my menu on Sunday, shop, & prepare so that I don't have to "think" about it-I can just grab & go! On Monday, I will email Nancy my menu plan and then the following week let her know how I did, and make any necessary tweaks.

On another note, this afternoon I thought my pants felt loose. So, I tried (and was able!) to pull them down without unbuttoning. Seriously-don't tell me you wouldn't!

FRIDAY!

TGIF! And a long weekend to boot-life is good!

Accomplishments this week:

I turned in my August fitness log with 700 minutes of working out-that is a 350 % increase from July-go ME!

I worked out 5 times this week (personal training sessions Wednesday & Friday, strength class on Tuesday, Zumba on Tuesday & Thursday)! I had been consistently working out 3 times/week for about 5 weeks and felt that it was time to add something else in so I added my old favorite, Zumba! LOVE it! AWESOME workout but fun at the same time!

I finally bit the bullet and went back to Weight Watchers.


I hadn't been since May 6. I figured it was time! And of course, it didn't hurt that I've been working my butt off and was down 3 pounds. My new facilitation group starts Wednesday and I am SO excited!

In other news,
I have yet another new trainer. This makes the FOURTH since I started ME First. Here is the rundown: Number one was Becky. I LOVE Becky! She got me excited to work out and for the first time in my life, I looked forward to it and enjoyed it. Then, she was promoted to the Healthy Directions classes, so was no longer my trainer. Then, I was told I would have a new trainer. A male trainer-Aaron. He would be coming in new so I hadn't met him and was so nervous (SCARED!) about having a male trainer. My trainer takes my measurements and works out with me so it's a pretty "intimate" relationship. I mean, seriously, my husband doesn't even know my measurements.


Then, the minute I met Aaron I felt at ease. He is extremely compassionate and not intimidating at all. We developed a friendship. Aaron introduced me to kettlebells, which I loved! We worked out together twice a week, met each other's families (our spouses & daughters all get along fabulously!), and hung out together. I even created a tag on my blog for Aaron after his wife told me it would make it easier to read the stuff I write about him. :) Then, the bomb dropped. Aaron was leaving. I was seriously upset over that news. I was positive that nobody would ever fill Aaron's shoes. I miss Aaron. Thankfully, we're still in touch :)
Then, there was Jameson. I was very skeptical just because he wasn't Aaron! Totally not fair, but it was how I felt. I met with Jameson and decided to utilize my twice weekly sessions with him. We totally hit it off! Jameson is great because he has a way to make me work myself harder than I think I'm able to. While still being compassionate, he pushes me. He is also a great listener-he is a behavioral health specialist as well-exactly what I need :) I had a day where I just needed to talk. We did some stretching, and then he listened to me. At the end of our "session", I apologized and he told me not to worry and that "mental fitness is just as important as physical fitness". So, then, when I got in to the pilot program, ME 4 Life, the bomb dropped again. Now I would have Tony as my trainer. This is where I totally came unglued. Well, that is a bit dramatic, but I was quite upset. I immediately emailed my wellness coach, Nancy (oh yeah, she is new to me as well but I love her!) and told her I needed to talk. I've been through all of these changes and I want to be positive about it, but I really enjoy my workouts with Jameson and (said while stomping my feet!) I DO NOT WANT ANOTHER NEW TRAINER!


I'll just put it out there-Tony intimidates me. Bigtime. I'm not really sure why other than I have seen him teaching classes and working out and he "seems" really tough. From what I've heard from other participants, he is totally the opposite of my perception of him. I know it's just a "perception" so I'm trying to focus on being open-minded and just give him a chance. He will never be Becky. He will never be Aaron. He will never be Jameson. And that is ok. I need to get to know Tony for who he is and learn what I can from him. Just as I wouldn't want to be compared to anyone else, it's not fair of me to compare him to anyone else. Maybe Tony will give me a little "tough love"-maybe that is what I need. Who knows? But, I do know one thing-I will work with him and see what it is that he can offer me and take full advantage of it!

I asked Jameson if I could still have my next assessment with him and he said yes. He will still be at the gym, so I can still contact him, work out with him, etc. Yesterday Tony sent a really nice introductory email with a survey to complete. I completed the survey and scheduled a meeting with him (first assessment). I scheduled that for Thursday so that I can "close the loop" on my assessment with Jameson on Wednesday (my 6 week assessment) and start fresh with Tony. Wish me luck!

Very Successful Week!

Obstacles vs. Opportunities

We still do not have electricity. BUT...this morning I made the decision that I would be at the gym before work one way or another! I faced many obstacles but was able to turn them into opportunities.


Obstacle #1: No electricity (meaning no shower, no lights, no coffee!)
Opportunity #1: Get dressed in gym clothes, pack work clothes, pack showering items to take a shower at work, have coffee at work
I did 50 pull-ups:


And 50 push-ups:



And a 45 second plank thrown in for good measure:


Then, I showered at work and had a cup of coffee in my office!

Obstacle #2: One Vehicle for both of us (I had to get to the gym, kids had to get to daycare, husband had to get to meeting 2 hours away)
Opportunity #2: Husband rocked it! He drove me to work, took the kids to daycare, and then went to his meeting.

For my husband:



Obstacle #3: No breakfast/lunch packed due to no power and food will most likely need to be thrown due to no electricity for the past 48 hours.
Opportunity #3: Have a slice of vegetable breakfast pizza (sans crust!) for breakfast. The best choice? No, but it worked.

Obstacle #4: People at work were ordering food for lunch! Great, right? Well, not when this is what they were ordering:



I knew I did NOT want fried food. I wanted to feel great after lunch-not tired, bloated & puffy.
Opportunity #4: I went to the cafe and ordered a sliced turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread with "all the veggies you have"-no mayo, no cheese. Go me! And I feel great now!

So, I was able to meet my goal of getting to the gym to workout this morning despite several obstacles by turning them into opportunities! I even scheduled a workout with my trainer for tomorrow morning at 6:30 and am going to shake my booty at Zumba today after work! Now, let's hope the power comes back on!

PROUD!

One of the requirements of ME First (the wellness program that I am in) is to keep a "fitness log" and submit it monthly to your fitness specialist. These logs look like a calendar and are a spreadsheet with formulas. For any given date, you enter what type of exercise you did (cardio/strength/flexibility), number of minutes, heart rate, and perceived exertion based on a scale of 6 (no exertion) to 20 (maximal exertion).  Due to my, um, lack of motivation over the past few months this is what mine have looked like lately:

May-0

June-0

July-200 (remember-this was the month I had my "lightbulb moment" at my fitness assessment)

This morning I opened my August spreadsheet up and was SO happy to discover that as of today-the 17th day of August-I have worked out for 418 minutes! Keep in mind that there are still FOURTEEN days left in the month! 

A Week I'm Proud of!

This week, I put in a lot of effort to make sure I did the things that I wanted to do to feel good about myself.

I worked out 3 times.
I ate a healthy lunch every single day.
I ate a healthy dinner every single night.
I slept well.
I had fun.

It was a good week! I feel great and have a feeling that next week will be even better! :)

Time for the weekend!

Another Light Bulb Moment!

I just had another light bulb moment after reading this article on one of the trainer's pages from my gym:


http://thefitcast.com/this-is-why-your-diet-keeps-failing

My interpretation:

So, you're faced with choices at every meal/snack. Example: for lunch you could have a chicken breast with a green salad or you can have your favorite junk food. Fried, yummy goodness. You choose the junk food and you get sort of instant gratification-it tastes great. You have no immediate negative effects from it (weight gain). However, you will gain weight and various other negative effects eventually. However if you choose the chicken breast & salad, you will gain positive effects (preserved health, energy, etc.).

On the flip side, when you work out you do not see an immediate positive effect (related to weight loss). You could work out all day long and you won't see any immediate positive results (weight loss). If you don't work out you will see the same result immediately as not working out-nothing. However, in the long run you will see positive results. 

So, the moral of this story is that I have been choosing the wrong foods for immediate gratification and not working out because "it will take forever anyway so why bother".  

The great thing about this is that my trainer & I talked about this very concept last week at my fitness assessment. When I told him that I couldn't grasp why I am not doing what I know that I need to do to reach my goals he asked me if it was because of instant gratification.

A-HA!

Fabulous Blog Post!

Today I saw a post on one of my favorite blogs that really struck a chord with me, so I thought I'd share it.

CLICK HERE for the link

Inspiring!